America's Greatest Threat: Flip Flops

We are plagued in society by something in our society that I must addresss. Something that many are afraid to speak out against for fear theat they will be chastised or portrayed as biased or uncool. The demon known as flip-flops.

They are like nails on a chalkboard Living in Chicago, when the temperature rises above 60, a small percentage of men abandon their Converse and the majority of the female population under 30 strap on the foot thongs and parade around the city producing a thundering chorus of smacking rubber and leather on the pavement.

Are they functional? Minimally. They cannot be comfortable as I can barely wear them between a parking lot and the beach.
Are they attractive? No, they are repulsive.
Do they make a pleasant noise? Obnixious enough to make me want to drill pencils into my ears.

Plus, how could you possibly expose your feet like this on the CTA. tt is a filthy , nasty, musty, odor filled environment inviting fungus. You are playing with fire young America with flip flops. Find a shoe with a heel strap, some ankle support, and bring us back to the nation where flip flops are confined to Spring Break and gym showers.