Quit Humping Gymbo

I haven't written any blogs in a while. A lot of stuff has happened - A new president, the stock market has been cut by 40%, my son turned two. But is seems that no one comes to my site to read about my witty takes on life. All they use me for is my insight into Gymboree. If that is what my public wants, that is what I will give them.

So what's up with the little red haired kid trying to make out with Gymbo when Ms. Amy brings him out at the end for the "I have a little friend and Gymbo is his name-o" song. I think he clings on so we can't see the dorky little dinosaur on the front of his overalls. Guess what kid, we know your mom dresses you like a tool and it isn't your fault. My son walks up to Gymbo with curiosity and then says, "All Done" and walks away from the clown.

Two Worlds Collide

My two biggest topics on this blog seem to be about Gymboree and Lifetime Fitness. How strange and inevitable it was to see my two worlds collide on Sunday. There I was in the pool with my 18 month old when we swam by the mushroom shaped thing that drips down water. A mother and her two children were circling it singing "Round and Round the garden goes the little bear. One, two, three, four.. tickle under there". They giggled as they tickled themselves, which seemed a bit ridiculous for four or five years olds doing that crap but each to their own.

The little guy and I just swam around. I held him on the kickboard while he did some surfing. There were a few strange kids who approached me. One was telling me how he could throw the ball better than my son and could show me. I told him to buzz off. I would hope a seven year old could throw the ball better than an infant. The same nudnik showed me how he could walk on his hands. Another little girl was very nice. She offered the noodle floatie thing for my son to use. We swapped the ball for the floatie and it was fine for 10 minute.

We always try to leave the pool five minutes before safety break so we won't have to wait for the shower. My son's dad has his act together.

More Gymboree Songs

Hello, Hello,
Hello and how are you
I'm Fine, I'm Fine
and hope that you two

(Sung to Frere Jacques)
Hello (Name), Hello (Name)
How are you? How are you?
We're glad you came to music
We're glad you came to music
How are you?How are you?

(rubbing tummy)
Round and Round The Circle
Goes the little bear
One, Two, Three, Four
(tickling neck) Tickle under there

(baby sitting on lap, kicking)
I have a little bicycle
I ride it to and fro
And When I see that big green light
I know it's time to go
(kicking faster)
I have a little bicycle
I ride it round the block
And When I see that big red light
I know it's time to stop(stop kicking)

International Gymboree

When I think Gymboree, I think dorky American parents being goofy with their kids. I am pleasantly surprised when I check my blog visitor records and see so many people checking my blog to find out the words to "There are Bubbles in the Air". Recent visitors have come from across the globe: France, Canada, Japan, Indonesia, China, Argentina, Thailand, Switzerland, and Singapore.

It is equally interesting to see that people in Dublin also hate David Archuleta.

Lastly, my son Jake is awesome because he went poop in the potty yesterday. I saw his red face and heard grunting and immediately grabbed him, plopped him on the toilet and the little green and brown bundt cake shaped dookie make a pleasant 'bloop' as it entered the toilet water.

Wheel on the Bus At Gymboree

A strange occurence took place at Gymboree this weekend. Shortly after bubble time, it was lap time. Our usual instructor, Amy, had the day off so Julie took over. We started with the Noble Duke of York and then started The Wheels on the Bus. I couldn't believe my ears!!!

We sang: "The Wheels on the Bus go round and round all around the town". I said to the dad next to me, I can't believe they are not going "round and round here at Gymboree". His response was, "She must have not gotten the memo".

Jake only has four more weeks of his Saturday Level 4 class and then that is it for me. My wife is going to take him to art class on Thursdays and I am going to take him to the pool over the summer!!

Gymboree Songs

So Gymboree seems to be popular by my viewing public. So, here are some song lyrics to some of the top hits at yours and my favorite children's place. Not that my son is coming close to 18 months and the weather is getting warmer, we are going to take a break from old Gymbo. I'll try to put up more songs as I remember them.

Bubbles In The Air (sung to If You're Happy And You Know It)
There are bubbles in the air, in the air
There are bubbles in the air, in the air
There are bubbles in the air
There are bubbles everywhere
There are bubbles in the air, in the air

There are bubbles way up high, way up high
There are bubbles way up high, way up high
There are bubbles way up high
There are bubbles in the sky
There are bubbles way up high, way up high

There are bubbles way down low, down low
There are bubbles way down low, down low
There are bubbles way down low
There are bubbles on your toes
There are bubbles way down low, down low


Gymbo Dance(sung to Wheels On the Bus)
Gymbo The Clown Goes Up and Down
Up and Down, Up and Down
Gymbo The Clown Goes Up and Down
Here at Gymboree

Gymbo The Clown Goes Side to Side
Side to Side, Side to Side
Gymbo The Clown Goes Side to Side
Here at Gymboree

Gymbo The Clown Goes a-boogie oogie oogie
boogie oogie oogie, boogie oogie oogie
Gymbo The Clown Goes boogie oogie oogie
Here at Gymboree

Come Under My Umbrella (sung to Did You Ever See a Lassie?)
Come Under My Umbrella,
Umbrella, Umbrella
Come Under My Umbrella,
It's going to Storm

There's Thunder and Lightning
and wind and rain
Come Under My Umbrella,
It's going to Storm

This one bugs me because it doesn't rhyme but I dig the parachute(umbrella) so I let it slide

Sitting in My High Chair

A lot of people have been entering this website trying to find the lyrics to the Gymboree hit "Sitting in My High Chair". Here are the coveted lyrics (sung to the tune of Short'nin' Bread)

Sitting In My High Chair
High Chair, My Chair
Sitting In My High Chair
Banging My Spoon

Bring on the Carrots
Bring on the Peas
Somebody Feed This
Baby Please

Sitting In My High Chair
High Chair, My Chair
Sitting In My High Chair
Banging My Spoon

Bring on the Jelly
Bring on the Bread
Somebody Get This
Baby Fed

Gymboree Song Translation

Great news. My son is a genius. The folks at Gymboree called and asked if he wanted to move up to the level 4 class. He is only 15 months and they want to skip a grade and go to the level that starts at 16 months. It may have something to do with the fact that if you ask him what a sheep says, he says "ba".

Gymboree's songs are fun but they change the lyrics so you think the song is specific to the facility. I have cracked the code and am sharing the translation with all:

• Gymbo the clown goes up and down = Wheels on the bus go round and round
• Hello Jake. Hello Jake. How are you? How are you? = Frere Jacques or Are you Sleeping or Where is Thumbkin
• There are bubbles in the air in the air = If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
• Sitting in my high chair high chair high chair = Momma's little baby loves shortening, shortening
• Trot Trot to Gymboree Trot Trot to Gym = Trot Trot to Boston. Trot Trot to Lynn
• G-Y-M-B-O = B-I-N-G-O
• Fly, Fly, Fly your plane = Row, Row, Row your boat
• Everbody Find a Lap = London Bridge is Falling Down

Gymboree

I am the lamest guy for looking forward to Gymboree every Saturday. I take my seven month old there and if anyone I went to junior high saw me, would swear I turned gay. I talk high pitch saying, "Jakey, look at daddy rocking you. What a big boy. You are the smootchiest". My everyday interactions usually don't consist of this jibberjabber. Altough, I wouldn't be opposed to them having little droplets. It would be great to talk to my boss and say, "Wait a little pootchky poo minute while I get that report."

I felt really lame when I was making requests to the facilitator. "Can we do the 'One Potato, Two Potato'?". I think I spoke for the group when I requested this because everyone seemed up for it, especially that kid Johnny. He thinks he is so cool because he can crawl and he has eight teeth. All that I know is that Jake could kick his ass in a Sumo wrestling competition. And that cute girl Addison, you think you are so cool with your little sun dress! The other infants think you are a tease. So take that.

By the way, what is up with them turning every song into a promotion for Gymboree. "The Wheels on the bus go to Gymboree"? No they don't! They go around and round. "One Little Two Little Bubbles Here at Gymboree"? First of all, it should be Indians. Is it a politically incorrect to count Indians now? I probably should back off on that one and admit it is a bit wrong. If I said "One little, two little, three little Jews" it would sound pretty bad.

Did I mention I love Gymboree?