Is David Archuleta A Good Singer

We are mere hours before David Archuleta gets crowned 2008 American Idol. I still don't get it but I accept it. To me he is like Queen Latifah or Andie McDowell. People tell me they are beautiful. I really have no attraction to either one of them. Queen Latifah weigths two Kelly Picklers and Andie McDowell has funky teeth. Yet, there they are on Maybelliene commercials selling cheap make-up to millions of women. I could name artists too - Picasso, Andy Warhol, Jackson Pollack - do you think someone is going to look back in 200 years and say, "Damn look at that splattered crap". My son could do that much better and incorporate Cheerios and carrots.

It is the same with "Archu". I don't think he can sing or at least he can sing but I hate his town. Real singers had powerful voices like Elvis, Roger Daltry, or Sammy Hagar. They are not whinny wusses like Archu or John Mayer. But American seems to be keen on the little Utah kid. So, rather than fight the tide, I surrender.

David Archuleta - New Theory

After seeing Archuletas gay Neil Diamond performances last night and hearing Randy's rave about the suckfest, I have a new theory. Perhaps I am not on the Truman Show where I am the only one not getting the joke, especially since I seem to be getting a lot of hits with people searching "David Archuleta Sucks". Maybe Archie's dad is paying off Randy and the nation to say good things about the little asthmatic.

I believe this to be true because Cowell now isn't even buying the post nasal drip voiced geeks performance, saying it is amateurish. Maybe Pa Archuleta couldn't afford Cowell anymore and he is saying it straight. We'll see, won't we.

On another topic, someone recently came to this site after searching on "Lifetime Fitness Center Sex Parties". What the hell is that!! I don't like using equipment after someone sweats on it much less leaves other bodily fluids. Let's hope this is just happening in the Phoenix facility. They are a deviant bunch down there.

David Archuleta: Please let me in on the Joke

Alright. I concede defeat. I don't get why this cruel joke is being played on me. Sanjaya I can understand. The ten to fourteen year old girls think he is cute and funny. He had silly hair that they loved so they voted for him to have him pass through to the next round. However, the judges demonized him as a crap singer.


Now this kid Archuleta keeps passing through to each round and the judges think he is crazy hot! What is it I am not getting. When I hear him sing, I want to get out my son's aspirator and clear his nose of all that post nasal drip . His easy listening songs are more suitable for a 45 year old than a 17 year old.


The only thing that I can conclude is that I am living in a huge bubble, similar to Jim Carrey in The Truman Show. The whole world is playing a joke on me. Any minute, there will be Ashton Kutcher with his trucker hat fixated sideways on his head running through my door yelling gotcha. I am going to save him and the rest of the world the effort and expense. I give up. Please stop the joke. I don't get it and I don't even know why I would take the energy to write this other than feeling immense confusion. Am I really the only one who feels this way? This is young, poppy American Idol. Not "So You Think You Are A Teenagers With Asthma Who Can Play Adult Contemporary".

Enough With David Archuleta

I never quite got David Archuleta and why the judges/voters on American Idol kept persisting he was fantastic. The little 17 year old dork with the horsey voice and the aw-shucks attitude just rubbed me the wrong way. He seemed nice enough but I couldn't figure out why the judges, especially Simon projected him to win the entire competition shortly after Hollywood week. Week after week of horrible adult contemporary songs like Another Day in Paradise, Imagine, one of the bad Beatle songs kept getting me fired up. What was wrong with me that I am the only one that can see this guy sucks.

At last a chink in the armor last night. After his performance of what to me sounded like some Christian Rock song (Oo ooh-ooh-ooh) my wife looked and me and told he she wasn't into it. Randy still had the myopia and said that it was a hot one. Paula mummbled some non sense about what she loved about David was that he stayed true to who he was. At last Simon broke him down and said that it sounded like a theme park performance where he could imagine animated creatures around him. Yes! Vindication!!

Finally, I can rest assured that I am not the crazy one. Sorry David. I wish you well on your cameo in the next High School Musical film, but hope your time on American Idol comes to an end shortly.

When Will I Grow Up

I was watching American Idol last night and they had some dude who was about to audition but left because his wife's water broke. So they had the baby and he auditioned the next day. The wife even showed up with the baby, not exactly what I would have done but it was South Carolina.

The intriguing thing about this guy is that his name is Oliver Hymen. The 12 year old got the better of me and I started chuckling. I ever rewound the DVR several times to hear Seacrest say his name over and over. In thinking what clever name I would give his daughter, Cherry beat out Rosie and Chastity. I also stupidly laughed when they showed the Air Force pilot in the cockpit. Other words that give me a kick: homeowner and duty.