Curious George - A Great Read If You Are Not a Germophobe

The Curious George series, as written by the husband wife team of H.A.Rey and Margret Rey, are filled with cute little George continually getting into predicatments due to his curiousity, hence the nickname Curious George. The books have the formula of a television sitcom.First, there's the set-up where George goes to the zoo, a parade, or an ice cream shop and observes. Next, he wants to take part in the activity. Someone gets pissed and him and George runs away. Then George does something clever and they all love him at the end.

Being someone who always has Purell in my holster, I get a little squeemish reading some of the George books. I don't want the monkey making an ice cream sundae or tossing pizza dough up in the air. The diseases this being must possess has to be extensive. After all, this creature does not wear pants and uses his hand to wipe himself. Would you want to eat a pizza with monkey hands all over it?

George's friend, the man in the yellow hat, is quite the strange character. It is a good thing that he doesn't have kids because he is always letting George out of his sights and allowing him to get into mischief. In addition, he is very absent minded. He is always leaving George to perform an activity or errand he forgot about. Scary thought especially after last month's disaster with the woman and the chimp in Conneticut.

Good Night Moon - Great Read for Those Who Don't Take It As Non-Fiction

Good Night Moon, the timeless tale of naming things in a great green room and then saying "good night" to them. Good Night Brush, Good Night Clock, Good Night Mush, Good Night Sock. This is one book that you get really pissed off about because you start thinking, I could write this drivel and I too would be filthy rich.

The drawings by Clement Hurd are glorious and comforting showing a wonder filled room enchanting to children and filled with a bunch of random items. The room is not well child proofed. There is a burning file, lots of sharp edges, and contains a clothes line. I don't think the AAP would approve. It would make me very happy is someone took the bowl of mush to the sink rather than let it sit all night.

A little nugget of trivia is that Margaret Wise Brown died when she was 42, leaving all of her royalties to a 9 year old rascally kid. The child grew up to a slacking drug abuser who still receives profits to sustain his life of traveling to exotic places, drinking/drugs, and neglecting his children who were conceived by miscellaneous women.

Surprisingly, kids are not freaked out about the old lady in the rocking chair whispering "Hush" but she does give me the heebee geebees.

Harry the Dirty Dog Exposes America's Racism

America in the mid-1950s was a turbulent time. Elvis Presley was shaking his hips. The Korean Was going strong. The civil rights movement was building up momentum. No book exposes America's racial bias at the time as Harry the Dirty Dog by Gene Zion.

The book shows everyone loves Harry as a loveable white dog with some black spots. Harry finds his roots becoming more and more black returning to his family reinvigorated. His family scoffs at the dog claiming they do not know this animal even though he shows the same mannerisms and tricks he did a few hours previously. The family only comes to love Harry again as his blackness is washed away, showing the white dog he was previously.

Gene Zion is probably a pseudonym as he is likely one of the propenents of the anti-semetic manifesto 'The Protocols of the Elders of Zion'. This is evident there seem to be no characters in the book who are Jewish, unless the author things Harry the chosen one. This would be entirely wrong to categorize the Jew as a dog. This mimics the Palestinian's view as Jews are pigs.

Is Harry a loveable dog that gets dirty, is the book a metaphor for the nation's view of civil rights similar to Arthur Miller's metaphor for McCarthyism in The Crucible, or is Gene Zion's Harry The Dirty Dog just another attempt of America to keep our African American brothers down. I think the proof is clear.

Oprah Winfrey - The Worst Judge of Talent

I am okay with Oprah. My wife loves watching her so I pick-up an episode here and there. She does have a knack of showing interesting topics or can provide a decent in-depth interviews with celebrities. However, she has got to be the worst judge of talent ever. Examples:

• Dr. Oz - This dork wears his scrubs on the show all of the time. There is no way he can be an expert is all facets of the medical profession.
  
• Dr. Phil - The Texan loudmouth who berates his patients to get his point across. Only lonely middle aged women in rural areas can really believe this guy is for real.
  
• Charice Pempengco - The karoake singer who Oprah dubbed "The Most Talented Girl In the World". There was a seven year old last year who performed surgery. I would vote for that kid as the most talented in the world.
  
• Nate Berkus - He puts a sconce on a wall and he is automatically a genious.
  

Tonight she had a bunch of kids who were semi-hacks with identifying world flags or could do somersaults. There was one obnoxious kid who was going to be a preacher. Oprah - get Simon Cowell to book your guests. He will at least filter the fluff and not try to manipulate the audience with emotional propaganda.

Quit Humping Gymbo

I haven't written any blogs in a while. A lot of stuff has happened - A new president, the stock market has been cut by 40%, my son turned two. But is seems that no one comes to my site to read about my witty takes on life. All they use me for is my insight into Gymboree. If that is what my public wants, that is what I will give them.

So what's up with the little red haired kid trying to make out with Gymbo when Ms. Amy brings him out at the end for the "I have a little friend and Gymbo is his name-o" song. I think he clings on so we can't see the dorky little dinosaur on the front of his overalls. Guess what kid, we know your mom dresses you like a tool and it isn't your fault. My son walks up to Gymbo with curiosity and then says, "All Done" and walks away from the clown.

Best Anti-Bush Songs

Our country was founded on the media questioning authority. Thomas Paine and his publication "Common Sense" help to gain public support for a government free of the British. Today we have our own set of Thomas Paine's in the rock world. They sing about their woes about Bush, and I am not talking about the lame band from Gavin Rossdale (wokka wokka wokka). So in honor of America, here are the three best Anti-George Bush songs that I can think of at the moment:

3. American Idiot Greenday - Very catchy song. A lot of hooks and a cool guitar intro. The song speaks the truth about a redneck agenda and how Bush has created a nation in fear that allows him to do the weird crap he is doing around the globe to smear our country (Iraq, Abu Ghraib, Guatanamo Bay)
2. Megalomaniac Incubus - No hidden message in this one. Bush is an ass who is no Jesus or Elvis. The song points out that Bush is not the appointed one by God to rescue our country in preparation of the rapture. I like how they mention they would like to have a scissor fight in the pricinpal's office with George.
1. Intervention Arcade Fire - More of an anti Iraq song but I am too lazy to think of a third. The song references how the president is sending soldier to war to die for Bush's religious war. The haunting lyrics are sung " I care not if you kneel" and "working for the church while your family dies" drive home that point. This song gets number one ranking because it is actually the best song from one of the best bands in recent memory. Buy Neon Bible if you haven't already

Charice Pempengco, Why does oprah care?

My wife likes to watch Oprah. I sometimes listen in to what is going on because I like to keep in touch with my what she is in to. So, Oprah has this girl on Charice Pempengco, this Filipina singer who sounds like a rock star from the karaoke circuit.

I cannot see why Oprah would dedicate a whole show to this minimal talent hack. Somehow this poor little girl from a shack in a ghetto is able to upload her lame performance of Whitney Houston's 'I Got Nothing' on YouTube and learn to speak perfect English. Did she learn this while she was letting her dad kick beat up her mom? The love fest continued for an hour as everyone kept gushing about Charice and how much she overcame and all the good things in the future with her vocal ability.

I haven't been this irate since America kept voted for the leprechaun David Archuleta. Perhaps I can see how some fifty year old ladies would think she has talent and is going to take over mainstream radio. But anyone who appreciates music will see Charice as a glorified, little talent nice story but please keep her in perspective. She cannot write music, has the depth of a puddle, and does little to inspire.