Sunday, September 20, 2009

H1N1 Parenting Tips

Since the whole world is giving their tips on how to best combat seasonal viruses, I wanted to do my part. Enjoy this exciting game and determine which of these statements are true:

1. If you have to sneeze or cough, do so in your hand or into the air
2. Touch your eyes, nose, and mouth frequently
3. If you have a fever but you have some crap you have to get done, that's cool. Go outside and take care of business.
4. Only pansies was there hands.
5. Get close to those who currently have the virus. Their germs will act as a forcefield and protect you.
6. Touch all the doorknobs from preschools, YMCAs, and Gymborees
7. Tongue kiss and licks the hands of strangers

I think the answers are pretty obvious. Numbers 2, 5, and 7 are false. The rest are true. Good luck and hopefully we'll all still be around in March.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Coffee Math

I get looks from people at work due to the fact that I always seem to have a cup of coffee in my hand. Sorry my stink breath disturbs you. I try to eat a lifesavers but it just arms to mask the scent.

Just today, I was approached about why I drink so much. My reply was that it was my right by using coffee match. Coffee math?! What the he'll is that?! Fear not humble reader, I'll clue you in.
You start with the number 10. That is the max cups of coffee your basic human should consume. Then you subtract the number of hours you have slept. For example, you took in 8 hours. The result is the number of cups of coffee you are entitled. The answer would be two cups for this example in the event you didn't finish the fourth grade.

The reason I drink so much is because my crazy kid never goes to bed despite our infinite number of sleep training methods. Usually get 5-6 hours of sleep, so I chug 4-5 cups a day. It is one of the perks of being sleep deprived.