Saturday, June 2, 2007


I am the lamest guy for looking forward to Gymboree every Saturday. I take my seven month old there and if anyone I went to junior high saw me, would swear I turned gay. I talk high pitch saying, "Jakey, look at daddy rocking you. What a big boy. You are the smootchiest". My everyday interactions usually don't consist of this jibberjabber. Altough, I wouldn't be opposed to them having little droplets. It would be great to talk to my boss and say, "Wait a little pootchky poo minute while I get that report."

I felt really lame when I was making requests to the facilitator. "Can we do the 'One Potato, Two Potato'?". I think I spoke for the group when I requested this because everyone seemed up for it, especially that kid Johnny. He thinks he is so cool because he can crawl and he has eight teeth. All that I know is that Jake could kick his ass in a Sumo wrestling competition. And that cute girl Addison, you think you are so cool with your little sun dress! The other infants think you are a tease. So take that.

By the way, what is up with them turning every song into a promotion for Gymboree. "The Wheels on the bus go to Gymboree"? No they don't! They go around and round. "One Little Two Little Bubbles Here at Gymboree"? First of all, it should be Indians. Is it a politically incorrect to count Indians now? I probably should back off on that one and admit it is a bit wrong. If I said "One little, two little, three little Jews" it would sound pretty bad.

Did I mention I love Gymboree?

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