Monday, January 14, 2008

LifeTime Fitness Sucks: Return of the Lame

Now that I have ended my cycle of contracting contagious diseases has come to an end, I am back to work out. And working out means another visit to Lifetime Fitness. And another visit to Lifetime Fitness means another opportunity to scrutinze the horrendous music videos they play. Here are the chart toping hits played in the club this morning:

  • NLT That Girl - The treadmill was too loud to hear these pre-pubescend dorks but I could tell it was junk.
  • Asley Simpson - Invisible - I didn't hear this song either but the video shows Ashley getting knocked out by some she-male with a mullet. The nose job does look good.
  • Roy Orbison Oh Pretty Woman - I like this song but c'mon.
  • Smashmouth Allstar - A LTF favorite. I enjoy the clips from the Ben Stiller bust Mystery Men.
  • Carrie Underwood Jesus Take The Wheel - There is nothing like a country ballad about Christ as a designated driver to get me pumped.
  • Tiffany I Think We're Alone Now - This one gave me flashbacks to middle school dances when I folded over and rolled up my jeans he middle and wore creepers.
  • James Blunt Beautiful - No need to comment on this one
  • Jackson 5 I want You Back - Turn the clock back 35 years and this would be an appropriate song choice.
Lifetime should just play the top 40 on XM and everyone would be satisfied. Oh wait, then they wouldn't be able to squeeze out that extra hundred bucks a month by playing those jeep commercials and ads for the local plastic surgeon.

25 comments:

Stephen said...

Here in Austin, they actually have changed the music. For awhile, every friggin' morning it was some variation of Avril Lavgine's Girlfriend, the Corrs' "breathless", some Vanessa Hudgins monstrosity, an Aguliera song, a Hilary Duff song - every stinkin day.

Yesterday, it was actually an hour with nothing I had heard before there. There is hope

Anonymous said...

absolutely have to comment! how about the persian masterpiece shapshika" (sp?) it is on all the time and just makes me want to rock out on that ellyptical!

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awww I like Lifetime Fitness's music videos, actually! Oldies, but goodies, and none of that gangster rap crap!

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